Tales from a 4th grade Spelling Bee

My daughter loves to read. And by "loves" I mean she reads about 500 pages a week. This may not impress you- but I feel pretty darn lucky if I can squeeze in even a tenth of that, so it impresses me! This affinity for reading can sometimes be a challenge. It is really hard to pull her out of a book when she should be doing other things (like chores, or sleeping, or eating) but by and large it is a really good thing.

One of the benefits of her insatiable appetite for books is that she has also become a pretty good speller by osmosis, so I was not surprised that she wanted to enter the Regional Homeschool Spelling Bee this year. I printed out the Scripps study lists for her and reminded her to study almost every day. I told her that in order to do well, she would have to study- so she did. She studied...

Well, at least she studied a few times. Over a two month period.

I probably don't need to tell you that she was feeling a little stressed on the day of the Spelling Bee. I probably don't need to tell you that she was tempted to give up. I probably don't need to tell you that I spent the better part of the day flip-flopping about what would be the best course of action....

****So let me just step onto my soapbox for one minute-

I believe in letting our children experience the consequences of their actions so they can learn from their choices. I also believe in teaching our kids the importance of keeping a commitment. I also believe that force is the least effective way to teach important life lessons. 

And now let me step shamefully off that same soapbox-

Because I am also a human and a hypocrite. As many beautiful things as I believe, I am at the very least tempted to cave into some of them every.single.day. And sometimes I don't have a choice- something has to give.****

Sorry 4th grader, the lesser of all evils this time was force. (or at least a LOT of coercion).
But only because I really wanted her to learn so many important life lessons... like when you commit to something, you follow through- even if you're not as prepared as you want to be.

For a while, I thought the life lessons had backfired. She ended up getting 6th place and she was ecstatic! "I didn't even think I would make it to the top 10!" she said through her HUGE smile.

I was torn between:
"Wow! All that reading is paying off. You're a great speller! Good for you!" and...
"You lucked out this time, but you're not always going to be able to just show up and do well without putting in the work..."

I opted for the first one... usually the "kind" version of honesty is more effective than the "brutal" version... and THEN, guess what happened?!?

"Mom, I was only ONE spot away from getting a top 5 seat!" she said, "I was only THREE spots away from getting a medal!! Just think what I could have done if I had studied every day!! I might have gotten FIRST PLACE!"

Ok... so that pretty much summed up the life lesson- no brutal honestly required. She saw her potential and what steps she needed to take to reach it. BINGO! At the end of the day that's all I ever want her to learn. That is what all the other life lessons are there for! To help our kids to reach their potential... in work, in education, in relationships, in the Gospel...

I have to admit that on occasion it can be a little frustrating the see that potential wasted (for lack of a better word)... HOWEVER, in reflecting on this experience, I can't help but ask myself, "What am I doing to help my children see their potential and the steps they need to take to reach it?" Would option 2, as true as it may be, have helped her see what she could achieve, or only where she fell short?

I love this quote!

DECISIONS DETERMINE DESTINY!
-Thomas S. Monson

In our house we say, "DAILY Decisions Determine Destiny."

...because it really is the small decisions we make on a daily basis that prepare us for those "Spelling Bee moments." But those small decisions can't take us where we want to be if we don't keep the end in sight! Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that a Spelling Bee medal (or a Science Fair ribbon, or an ACT score) for my kids is my goal as a mom/homeschooler. This was such a good reminder to me that there is nothing I can do to push my kids into their potential, but there ARE things I can do to help them see it and want it! THAT is my end goal! That is what my daily interactions with my kids SHOULD be! I want to lift my kids, to help them see a small part of what they can become, and to encourage and motivate them to keep working for more!

I'm still a human and a hypocrite- I will still fail (multiple times a day), but I always love a new perspective- especially one that inspires! I'm so happy to relieve myself of all the pressure of being a super-mom and focus on what is most important! Here's to potential!!


Deficits: humans, hypocrites, and plenty of untapped potential
Deposits: Perspective that simplifies! Better goals to work toward! A lighter heart & bigger Smile!

Balance: Richly Blessed!