The Story

Once upon a time, my husband and I were having a little debate about the best method for brushing our children’s teeth (uh...yeah). Unbeknownst to my husband, I had had a very long and trying day with the kids and was not really feeling up to a discussion on proper tooth-brushing. I found myself at one of those moments where I was teetering between tears and inspiration. I suppose inspiration won, because I finally found the words to explain to my husband something I have been trying to say for many years… 

This is what I said...

“Being a mother is a job that I love, and one I would sacrifice almost anything for, but it is also a job that gets very little feedback. I cannot look in my mommy bank account at the end of the week and see the fruits of my labors in black and white, and I don’t get a quarterly evaluation showing me where I should try to improve. The results of my efforts will not be seen for many years. In fact, many of them will not even be seen in this lifetime. It is my calling, my joy, and what gives me purpose in my life. It also is a job where there is no definitive way to measure success. The balance at this particular moment in time may not always reflect the deposits I have made . . .  they can take a lifetime to mature. Please be patient with me. Most of the time I am painfully aware of my deficits and I do not see the assets that are still maturing.” 

My husband was very understanding (and, I might add, has never again voiced criticism of the “little circles” method of tooth-brushing). However, I couldn’t stop thinking about the concept of a mommy bank account, and thought “Why not?” Why can’t I have a place to make some deposits and have a tangible record of what I have done with this wonderfully important job that I love so much?? Hmmmm…

So now I am starting a blog. I guess in a way I could call it a journal, because to be honest, I don’t really care much if anyone else ever reads it. It is for me. It is so that I can have a personal record that I am doing something with my days, my weeks and my years as a mom. Because even though the laundry, the baths, and the vacuuming may have been un-done (yet again), there are memories that will last. I may not ever get a gold star, or a pat on the back for being a struggling mommy like so many others, but this is my way of reminding myself that what I do matters.

So, this is the mommy account. It is my account of being a mom, and a place that I can deposit the things that I do… my successes, my failures and everything in between. At the end of the day I have to accept that only God knows the balance, this is just my ledger.